Wednesday, April 13, 2011
pov.
She fell to the bottom of her life
This wasn't meant for two
She struggles to find herself in time
But she can barely move
Just try and get up
You gotta slowly brush off
I know that words aren't enough
But you're better than thisSave your heart
For someone that's worth dying for
Don't give it away
Torn apart
Never getting what you've been crying for
It's always the same
She turns the pages everyday
Just to change the mood
But every chapter reads the same
So hard to make it through
Just try and get up
You gotta slowly brush off
I know that words aren't enough
But you're better than thisSave your heart
For someone that's worth dying for
Don't give it away
Torn apart
Never getting what you've been crying for
It's always the same
And you give (and you give)
And they take (and they take)
And it's love that you want
But not love that you make
Save your heart
For someone that's worth dying for
Don't give it away
Save your heart
For someone who leaves you breathless
And I know that you're scared
Seems like someone said you had it in you
All along you said you knew this was wrong
But still worth dying for
Save your heart
For someone who leaves you breathless
And I know that you're scared
Seems like someone said you had it in you (are you scared?)
All along you said you knew this was wrong
But still worth dying for
And you give (and you give)
And they take (and they take)
And it's love that you want
But not love that you make
Save your heart
For someone that's worth dying for
Don't give it away
Don't give it away
Posted by Chiaroscuro at 1:32 AM
Monday, April 11, 2011
possible but not plausible.
i just watched the arsenal highlights. and i was really surprised at how high up diaby and wilshere played at times and how deep fabregas came for the ball. complete opposites of what i expected. and i feel that perhaps we should sell clichy after all? i dont like how he rarely tries to beat his man. it just slows down the entire attack. but he makes those runs to compensate for it :) perhaps arsenal just needs a left back who's more comfortable on the ball and willing to take a few risks. and the defence was amazingly stupid. i mean, just look at how they lost the ball in their own half needlessly. any manager would be pissed at that.
Posted by Chiaroscuro at 3:04 AM
Sunday, April 10, 2011
why do we like to hurt so much?
oh dear. i'm supposed to be editing my english essay now but i just feel sooooooo distracted. damn. and arsenal won :) its quite sad that i'm actually happy about that considering the fact that we are clear favourites to beat them. but with arsenal's current form... well i'm just glad they didnt lose 4-0. well a win is a win eh?
and i just find this so ironic:
sec 1: oh my god why aren't there any girls?
sec 2: i seriously wish i wasnt in an all boys school...
sec 3: yay one more year and there'll be girls!
sec 4: i don't want go jc...
and this is sooooo freaking true. i DONT WANT TO GO JC. i am mortally afraid of graduating out of ri. ri is like so freaking protected. and anything outside seems really scary. and from the accounts of seniors... well jc seems like a really scary place. damn. and slowly from sec 1 - sec 4 you realise that girls are like SUPER low on your priority list. and you realise that you've been staring at your world from upside down for the past 3 years. damn that took me a while.
oh dear. and then there's the girls. after all that bullshit about hating an all boy's school, i finally realise how good it is. we can do SO MUCH shit and get away with it. i swear we're going to miss this. and then the girls. somehow they just seem so prim and proper. and its really scary. like all guys humour is essentially frat boy humour(no pun (?) intended) but really no matter what school, boys are boys. our humour is far from sophisticated. i mean, that's what she said? yeah, yeah. but it still works wonders. while the girls are out there with their poems and drawings and abstract stuff that i would have probably admired had it been from a guy. but from a girl? its automatically just another piece of boring stuff. i'm just sexist in that way. horrible, yeah. and totally weird too. idk. its like for a girl these emotions come so easily for them till its so commonplace and not of any great importance (i mean, seriously? everyday?). but for a guy its different. i mean, how often do we experience such emotions? even if we want to recreate also cannot. its just different in that way.
Posted by Chiaroscuro at 7:45 AM
Friday, April 8, 2011
all the same.
I dont mind where you come from
As long as you come to me
But I dont like illusions I cant see
Them clearly
I dont care, no I wouldn't dare
To fix the twist in you
You've shown me eventually what you'll do
I dont mind
I dont care
As long as you're here
[Chorus]
Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's all the same
Hours slide and days go by
Till you decide to come
But in-between it always seems too long
Suddenly
But I have the skill, yeah
I have the will, to breath you in while I can
However long you stay is all that I am
I dont mind, I dont care
As long as you're here
Go ahead and tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
And do it all over again
It's always the same
Wrong or Right
Black or White
If I close my eyes
Its all the same
In my life
The compromise
I'll close my eyes
Its all the same
Go ahead say it
You're leaving
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are now
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same
Posted by Chiaroscuro at 6:24 PM
i just DONT KNOW.
i feel horribly unfit :( and there's there the myct's coming up. which probably means i won't play soccer until everything's over. and i'm so pissed with my current form. yesterday was probably one of the worse performances i ever put in this year. i'm still trying to find out what's the common denominator of when i manage to turn in a good performance. its just so horribly irritating. screw this. i'm just going to fail napfa and then train during the june holidays (which was what i was planning on doing anyway, so it dosent change anything).
Posted by Chiaroscuro at 6:18 PM
Thursday, April 7, 2011
the end.
and so this is how it ends; me alone in that room having way too much thoughts than healthy, you sitting godknowswhere pretending that nothing ever happened. so many words unsaid. so many thoughts abandoned. so many feelings left unexpressed. in the end, we lose sight of who we are. our strengths. our weaknesses. what we were meant to be, not who you want me to be. in the end it was all a beautiful mistake. touching something that was never meant to be touched and yet still touched. out of curiosity or ignorance no one will ever know now. you tried to mould me. tried to show me your way. but i refused. never. it was too much for me. honestly, i tried. my best? no. no where near. but i did try. never will you know how much i tried. but for you? no. if it was solely for you i would have left a long time ago. you, with all your flaws and imperfectness was not the main cause of all this. and it is not your fault to. nobody is perfect, as they all like to say. this was all for an idea. the sheer audacity to think that two people could be together forever no matter what the world says. that was all we needed. the two of us. but no, the world is never that way. and you, with all your practicality, saw through that the moment i said it. maybe it was true; from the beginning you already saw through me and knew what i was. maybe its all true that you never ever caught hold of that idea and you were merely going through the motions, yet another page in your book. perhaps the idea will catch you late at night 20 years from now. maybe it will find you. or maybe you will live your life in all your practicality and never see the beauty behind living for an idea. i pray that the last option is one that will never happen to you. now all i want is to see you once again in that room. to go up to you and tell you whatever i wanted to tell you, whatever words that were meant to be said but we didnt dare to. my deepest, darkest thoughts. about how i honestly thought you were the missing puzzle piece. the masterstroke which completes the painting. just go up to you and tell you everything. then leave forever. no, i do not want you back. never again. making that mistake once was enough, twice would just be sheer folly. all i want is a proper conclusion. to eliminate whatever doubts from my mind. to clear whatever regrets that room holds. and to find my faith once again to continue living for that idea.
Posted by Chiaroscuro at 5:40 AM