Thursday, December 30, 2010
again and again.
the world is atrophying at a seriously alarming rate. idk. i just feel like this whole world is just falling apart. and here i am trying to put everything back together again. its something in between "you dont really know what you've got till its gone" and "you dont really want it but you dont want to let go either". its really stupid. i just dont have the ability to cut of things in my life that are rapidly decaying and no longer needed. deep in my heart i know all these shit are weighing me down but yet at the same time i'm reluctant to let go of it due to whatever little sentimental value it holds for me. sometimes i feel like i'm trying way too hard. i really just want to lie back at times and just watch the world flash by me without any regard for things that might happen around me. i'm just so tired of all these cut and thrust, all these sentimentalism and useless emotions. sometimes i just wish i can become a computer for once. to be able to weigh my options perfectly and to be absolutely cold and calculaing. decisive. perfect. and to not be weighed down by other emotions. because honestly i dont expect any form of allegiance or loyalty from you, and in return i wont give any either. so dont go about with this misconception. i'm sorry. thats not the case. if you want to continue living in that little deluded world of yours go ahead. but just note i wont be there to save you when the shit hits the fan. cos remember, YOU were the one who made the shit hit the fan, not anybody else.
Posted by Chiaroscuro at 8:47 AM